Fly
by kirstencohen
Summary: Kirsten had always wanted to fly.


**Hope You Enjoy.**

She always wanted to be able to fly. Ever since she was a kid. There was something freeing about it. When her parents argued she used to stand at her window, spread her arms and close her eyes. When she did that she could go anywhere she wanted. She could fly through the clouds and among the stars. It was soothing. It was a release.

As she grew older she forgot about the hours she stood in front of her window. Escaping from her seemingly perfect life to a place she had peace and solace. But it was soon forgotten. She didn't need it. She didn't need to hide anymore or escape to her own world because she was happy in the real world. She had found her soul mate. A man she admired and loved more deeply than she thought possible. Her heart fluttered every time he held her hand or kissed her gently on the cheek. She had her son who she cared for more than anything. And another who, although had shown up a little later, she learned to love just as much. She took a vow to herself that she would never make them want to escape. To fly away. But they did.

They both ran. It was her own fault. She rejected Ryan from the beginning and he couldn't ever bring himself to trust her. He didn't believe she loved him. She tried to get close but he repeatedly pushed her away in fear of becoming too attached. In case they threw him out the way his last family had. She had been the one who kept Seth in Newport. Sandy was always talking about going back to Berkeley but she had refused making excuses to stay. She didn't listen to her son's pleas to breakout of the Newport bubble she had grown too content in.

Now she felt the need to fly again. The real world had distorted into a living hell she didn't believe was imaginable. Her husband worked through the night and returned only to occasionally shower and change his clothes. Whenever he came home the stench of liquor on his breath was undeniable. The light from his eyes had dimmed drastically and he seemed hopeless. She sat at the dinner table alone every night eating a frozen meal she had prepared herself. She knew Seth would cringe at the thought of his mother cooking. She became angry when she thought of him. How could be so selfish to leave without her. She wasn't ready for him to spread his wings. Not yet. So every night she stood at the window in her bedroom and closed her eyes. She breathed steadily hoping Sandy wouldn't come home too early and interrupt her thoughts. She knew he wouldn't be home but a part of her wanted him to find her. She needed saving. She focused hard. It wasn't working. She screwed her eyes up in frustration to force the images into her head but she had lost it. The ability to visualize was gone. It had died years ago. She felt her knees grow weak and she fell to the ground in a blur of tears. It was all she had left. Now it was gone. She had nothing.

She found herself in an empty bed that night with a bottle of vodka clutched in her left hand. She gulped it down trying to ignore the burning sensation in her throat.

She drove across the bridge in a hurry. She was late. She couldn't work out whether or not she cared anymore but she nevertheless found herself with her foot down in a rush to get to the office. As she neared the edge of the bridge she saw miles of sparkling water. The sky was a crystal clear blue and a few random clouds hung lazily in space. When she got off the bridge she parked her car and walked along the sidewalk of the bridge. She held on to the side and peered over. The wind blew in her face and she felt uplifted again. She held onto the bar tightly and closed her eyes. When she began to imagine she loosened her grip until her hands were spread out in front her. She laughed out loud. She had it back. She could escape again. Her sons had run to other parts of the state and her husband had hidden himself under a pile of paperwork and a fountain of alcohol but all she needed was her spot on the bridge a few minutes from home.

She still tried desperately to bring her boys back. She called Seth pleading with him to come home but he didn't want to know. He didn't care that he had ripped his family apart and destroyed his parents. She tried to convince Ryan to come back and bring Theresa with him. But it was no good Theresa wanted to stay in Chino and Ryan couldn't talk her into going with him. She began to show up at Sandy's office with lunch. But he would mutely shake his head and bury himself in documents. He didn't even talk anymore.

She found herself at her spot more and more. Every time she went she got a little bit further. When she found herself standing on the inside of the rails she felt a jolt race through her. She was intrigued. This was the furthest she had gotten. She pulled out a photo from her jeans pocket. It was the holiday card they had taken last year for Christmukkah. She smiled allowing a tear to stain it slightly. She clutched the photo in her hand allowing it to crumple in her fist. She swung her leg over the bar and she stood on the outside edge of the rail. She stretched out until she was hanging over the edge. Tears streamed from her eyes as she said a silent prayer and begged for forgiveness but it was her turn. It was her turn to escape. To free herself from the Newport bubble her family was desperately trying to break out of. They had abandoned her and now it was her turn. She heard people yelling behind her but she didn't turn around. She kept her eyes fixed on the sky above her. It was time. She released her grip and spread her arms out wide. She closed her eyes for the last time and let herself fly.

**Okay i don't know if there are any bridges in Newport so lets call it dramatic licence. Please leave a review.**


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